Affair
by AddyHerondale
Summary: What would you do when you realize you married the wrong man, loved another, want to be with another, risk your life over another, break everything you have ever believed for another and give your all to another. Hopefully, this will be as dramatic as it is in my head .. here's to another Clace story
1. My first lie

**2 weeks before in New York**

We stopped in front of a car loft, deserted and littered with old bugged up cars. "Are you sure this is the place" my voice came out groggy from being so quiet for a long time. "Yes mam'" my taxi driver replied. "Alright" I mumbled handing him some cash, "stay here for 5 mins please" I instructed getting out of the car and making my way towards the car yard.

How could Isabelle be associated with anything like this I thought … a deserted and a dusty loft. The front door was locked so I walked behind where some music was blaring so loud I don't think anyone could survive it. Looking around no one was available either, I was about to turn around when I saw movement under one of the cars.

"Excuse me" I called, but no answer came. "Is Isabelle Lightwood here" I yelled but no reply came either. Rolling my eye's I carefully stepped over the man dressed in an orange county escapee suit to turn the music off which was coming from up the stairs. I turned off the stereo and found another entry way, when I finally received an answer.

"I wouldn't open that door if I were you" a man muttered standing up straighter and wiping his hands with a very filthy cloth. "What do you mean, why, how can you stand this noise" I asked. "I just wouldn't open that door" he muttered. "Well you could answer one thing is Isabelle lightwood here" I asked him but he ignored me and walked away casually like no one was even talking to him.

I called her mobile again and this time the phone rang and it was coming from the other side of the room. I stepped over some screw drives and placed my hand on the handle. "What did I tell you" the guy shouted coming back. I ignored him as he had ignored me and opened the door to find Isabelle hitch hiked on some guy. "Izzy" I whispered.

She broke away from him so fast and jumped to her feet. "Clary, you made it" she yelled pushing the guy away from her. I felt so furious I stomped away back to the main road. I saw my taxi start up, I waved and chased him but he got away. "Damn" I murmured to myself I was truly going to miss my plane now.

Isabelle came running behind me trying to button her top. "What is this" I asked turning to face her. "Are you trying to get extra money you could have just asked me" I yelled at her. "Come on Fray I was …". "I can clearly see you haven't changed much" I told her.

"Don't go judging me Simon wanted the break not me" she yelled. "That's because you never care Izzy" I yelled back. She ran her hand through her hair. "Are you done" she asked. I nodded. "Now stop being pretentious and give me a hug I haven't seen you since forever" she smiled lifting her hands to hug me.

"I know" I said calmly. "I am sorry, I was just stressed and this place is – not you" I whispered in her ear. "I am sorry too how's se—b" She was about to ask. "Let's not talk about it" I said letting her go shaking my head.

"How about you join me for a drink tonight" she said excitedly. "No – fine not too long I have to catch my plane" I said even though I knew the chances of that happening were very slim when you hanged with Isabelle. "Yeah, yeah and I also haven't seen you in forever" she muttered. It had been years since I was New York or seen my old friends.

 **….**

"Okay purse your lips out" they all yelled. "Pout and drag Clary" Isabelle yelled across the room. I did as she told me holding the joint between my lips. "Now drag" she said taking straight vodka from a bottle. I closed my eyes and dragged smoke in. I could only see darkness and his face, his face condemning me. Then I began coughing hysterically.

"Why can't I see colour's yet" I squealed opening my eyes. "a single whiff does nothing for you" the blonde boy from the garage walked in wearing a pouting and all serious look. I don't think he liked me much. "Well give me another" I said standing up, taking one he had just placed on his lips.

I successfully took another swig and blew out smoke. "Hey" I yelled earning claps around me except from the blonde boy who rolled his eyes at me. I tried again, which took a wrong turn and I began coughing hysterically again.

We all began to laugh, when someone gave me a glass of water "No, no" I refused pushing him away. His golden hair and strange tawny eyes were mesmerizing I had to admit, I smiled up at him but he looked away angrily. Then I tried another drag until I felt my lungs burst. I think I passed out I can't remember.

 **…**

The next moment I was on my feet dancing in circles, seeing colours of lights in greens, blues and yellow all so moving fast. My smile got wider and my laugh became contagious under the lights. My hair was a wild mess cascading around my face.

Then I saw him again. Across the room he stood. The music slowed so did my dancing. My hips moved from side to side slowly. I lifted my eyes again and this time they were on me. "Seb—" I said. "No – Jace, names Jace"

"I didn't like your attitude earlier" I yelled over the loud music. "I still don't like yours" he muttered. I smiled at that. "Come with me" he murmured. I looked up bantering my eyes then lifted my hand. He took it plainly then we weaved our way out of the bar and into a private area out into the cold making me shiver. "Are you cold" he asked when we stepped out.

I shook my head back and forth. We walked a little until we rounded into an ally way, "I thought you should clear your head – I am not" he said but he looked so animatedly all I wanted to do was touch his face. So I did – I dragged him down until his face was inch's from mine and I placed my lips over his. A small smile played on my lips as I felt him hesitate. When he recovered, he responded by making an opening with his tongue.

"You should know I don't do this on a regular basis, at least with a girl like you, half gone" he whispered breathless leaving a small space between. "Shhh It can be our little secret" I whispered drawing his mouth back to mine. My bag began to vibrate furiously then. Letting go off my beautiful stranger from under the car today I checked my mobile. I lifted a finger. One second I wanted to say. When I saw the name flashing across the screen I felt like I dropped out of the sky.

"Shit I … I have to go" I mumbled quickly … "What" he asked trying to pull me towards him again "Sorry" I muttered as I began to walk away. "What – hey come back it's too dark" he yelled. "Sorry" I called over my shoulder running this time. My phone vibrated again and this time I managed to get it. "Seb – hey" I answered. "Yeah I was just in the shower" I lied as I hurried off and got into a cab. "I know, I fell asleep" I said looking out the window as lights flashed above me.

 **2 weeks later in Idris.**

I felt cold and heavy, and my head hung lower than usual, I still felt ashamed for my behaviour in New York. As for now I just had to get through the next few days that's what I had been telling myself. Slowly I blinked and saw my reflection in my glass of wine damn I looked miserable I couldn't replace the frown on my face with a smile at least once.

All I had to do was just smile that's all I was required to do tonight to just smile, just sit there and smile.

I hated coming home to Idris I thought again, I just wasn't myself but I hadn't been lately and I know I was slowly losing it by the day. I know I would do it alone and not be judged or observed when I was in my own home. "Tell me dear how is Paris" an old lady sitting next to me asked, bringing me back to reality. I looked up and around the table and met my mother's eyes who nodded smiling, she then looked away to chat to her neighbour.

In the background I could hear my father boast about the wine from his father's vineyards back in the 1920's. Off course this discussion never frayed away from the table whenever there was company. On the other side I could hear Jonathan's boastful laugh, he was like this when he was getting his way in a conversation.

Whilst I was here trying to tame my brain to convince myself I was okay. "Its great" I responded then I went back to twirling the contents of my drink in my hands. "Your father tells me some of your art was published in an exhibition" she asked eagerly wanting to talk to me. "Yes, in New York" I smiled, "three of the five that I painted made it" I elaborated.

"Whoa isn't that great, so talented you are" she said. But I went back to blocking my ears and thinking of my life ahead. After a while I saw she turned to the man next to her finally got the hint. I sat up wondering why I had tortured myself by coming home I didn't need this, I needed to be in my solidary and paint.

"You could sit there all night or come with me" a girl seductively whispered in my ear. I turned my head smiling. "Isabelle" I looked up. Her dark hair all gathered on one side of her body, thick and wavy falling to the edge of her waist. Her lips accentuated with a deep red colour, her eyes eyelined with a thick charcoal line and small wings at the ends.

She never ceased to amaze me even if we talked day and night most times on the phone. "Why didn't you tell me you were turning up for this fiesta" she waved her hands around. I just shrugged my shoulders and accepted the drink from her. "Your alone too" she observed. "Aren't I always" I sighed so she could not see how badly it was affecting me "Surely you knew I would be here" I said.

"Come" she motioned I follow her, I got up earning a look from my father Valentine who disapproved of such behaviour, but I behaved as though I had not seen it.

"Well you're here now let's make the most of it" Izzy smiled, "I missed you in New York you just left – well that's what J…" she said. There was some yelling down the corridor which caught her attention. "Damn" Izzy mumbled, "Two seconds I have to sort my boys out quickly" she motioned to the direction of the commotion.

I was left alone again in the corner, the corner of the house I grew up in but now felt alien to me. I walked around the kitchen bench tops drinking a cider Izzy had given me.

I smiled at the images mum still kept on the walls of Jon and me smiling, covered in mud and being silly before all the politics of Idris took over our life's. You see my father was the consul and tonight his associates and him were discussing their new campaign he was running again. I was required to be home for the announcement that he was running again and support the family.

"See that smile will not crack a mirror" a voice muttered and my face cracked in annoyance. I opened and closed my mouth at that. "Excuse me" I said frowning not wanting to turn back. "I have been watching you, I have never seen someone so serious besides the consul himself, whoa that guy is bat shit serious and his son" he seemed to be in thought at that. "They look like two dimwit—"

"Those two dimwits and bat shit serious man are my father and brother" I said finally looking at him. "Ooo hey" he said nervously. "It runs in the family then, moody, bossy and pint sized" he shrugged. I am about to speak when there's commotion again. The blonde man turns his head, then back to me "cheers Clary" he bangs his drink with mine then walks away. I looked back at the photo's wishing someone would crush me right now.

When I looked back Jace had retreated I couldn't see him anymore, when it gnawed on me that I needed to talk to him. "Damn" the blood on my face drained in an instance. "Damn, damn". But I had no time to process everything and I was feeling slow because of the wine when I was whisked away by that old woman I was talking to before, now she was adamant I meet her child.

"Why are you so short", "why is your hair so red", "Are those freckles by the angel there is thousands of them" she yelled in my face reaching up to me to start counting my freckles.

"Do you know what else she is, Merida from brave" Jace interrupted. "Meri—da" I say slowly, then try to remember the movie brave and the main protagonist the girl had wild curly red hair. "I would go tell all your friends if I were you" he said snickering to himself then taking a drink again.

She ran off yelling she found Merida. "What is your problem" I asked him accusingly. "Your lack of enthusiasm to see me" he quipped. "You don't even know me" I frowned. "O dear did you hit a few to many blunts dear" he sarcastically muttered in a British accent.

"I stop – shh please …" I say looking around. "Geez that wounds my soul, was I that terrible of a kisser … I don't fancy your pants no more Clarissa" he mocked. I looked around to make sure no one had seen or heard him again. "Please can that stay between us" I whispered feeling mortified and spotting Isabelle in tow with Simon.

"What am I forgetting again" he squared his shoulders following my eyes. "Please" I say before I walked off. I quickly grab Isabelle before I could say Hie to our friend Simon who she was back with now it seemed. "You didn't tell me you brought Jace with you" I said as calmly as I could, the night's events coming back to me.

"Yeah Jace … oh right you mean Herondale, his a spunk isn't he" she muttered looking in his direction. "Not the point, why is here" I asked. "Why, what's up Clary" she asked curious. "Nothing, he just wasn't very nice to me back in New York" I muttered.

"His the one who told me you ran off actually" she said. "Is that all he said" I asked her. "Yeah" She said her attention caught off guard. "Besides, his here with his parents the Herondale's, the one's your father replaced my family with" she said bitterly.

"Celine and Stephen have a son" I ask shocked. "Yes they have just moved from England, Jace has never really associated with being in Idris he does his own thing but is here to support his family just like you" she said.

Isabelle walked away from me then. I looked where Jace had been but he was no longer there.


	2. My second lie

**Disclaimer/: Cassie Claire owns, but this is my plot and fantasy.**

 **Sorry, it's been long =(, but enjoy and please review.**

"I miss you" a message popped up on my phone from Seb. "I miss you too" I quickly wrote back uninterested. I looked to the side, then sighed before I plastered a smile on my face and quietly knocked and waited. I could hear the music inside, which made me nervous I hated big events.

I still had my plastered smile on when the door flew open and a guy dazzled in glitter stood before me. He definitely looked familiar, with his coal lined eyes, and his peculiar fashion sense. "Password" he slurred catching my attention again. Behind him, the music was extremely loud and lights were flashing about, this was definitely making me nervous.

"Um" I said, my eyes popping and trying to keep a smile on my face. What had I signed myself too, when I agreed to come I thought. "Um" I said again looking around, then I read on the ground. "Magnus is awesome," I said shrugging my shoulders shyly. "Wrong" he slurred, "But come in," he said grabbing my free hand.

I followed him in the apartment whilst dodging away from people who were about to bump me. "Have you seen Isabelle" I turned around to ask but he had already walked away. I recalled to when she had called and invited me this morning saying it would only be a small gathering, but now I could barely find her in this mass crowd.

"You look a bit lost there, Cla—Merida" I closed and opened my eyes hoping the anger deep within me would resolve before I faced him. I resented that voice, but it also tickled and pickled into my soul, in different ways.

"Mmmh" I hummed turning behind me. And there Jace Herondale stood extremely close, too close that my forehead was touching his chest. "Could you move back a bit" I mumbled, looking up. When he didn't move, I tried moving to the side but he blocked my way, then the other way. "Fine, what do you want" I stomped on my side since he was being immature.

"Look, I will leave you alone if you answer me one question only" Jace held up a finger. I knew not to follow his finger high up because, I now was stalk still starring into his sparkling, and mesmerising gold eyes. "Why— did you ask me— to lie" he asked thoughtfully.

I paused, "I had my reasons" I heard myself say softly, not the way I had intended to answer but I was so captivated by his eyes—and by him. "Which is," he asked lifting his eyebrow. Damn, he could also do that I thought to myself.

"It was my Father's big night alright, and I don't particularly like sharing things about my life with everyone" I explained looking away, I was still ashamed by what I had done in New York. "Your lying—and I shouldn't have to either" Jace muttered sounding annoyed. "Because you know so much about me" I raised my voice angrily.

He stepped back beaming at me. "There you are Clary" My friend Simon yelled across from the kitchen. "Look, can we not repeat about New York to me or anyone ever" I ground my teeth, then turned to go give Simon a hug. "Simon" I said cheerfully.

"How about a game of beer pong" Simon suggested after he let me go. "No, I just got here and I haven't seen you in long Si, we need to talk" I said smiling at him, and very aware of Jace still behind us, but I could see Simon was extremely absent from the alcohol, and the chances of us having a real conversation were not going to happen.

"Clarissa" Isabelle yelled behind us. "Just in time darling, you're already late" she slurred. "You can verse Simon and me" she continued grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the table.

"No, I'll sit out, besides who will be my partner" I scowled looking at them both. "Me silly" Jace stepped up. I frowned looking him up and down. The last thing I wanted to do was play drinking games with him. "No, I am fine" I muffled looking at him. "Come on Clary" Isabelle squealed laying out the cups already.

I rolled my eyes and began helping her mix drinks into the cups. Jace handed me the ball, as he came to stand next to me. "Ladies first" he whispered, causing me to develop goose bumps. I looked up momentarily and saw that he was facing forward waiting for me to play. I threw the ball and missed.

But, when Izzy and Simon returned the ball, it landed in a cup. "Ladies first" Jace whispered again.

…

By the end of the game, only one cup remained for both our teams. "Would you like to take the honour?" Jace asked. "Really" my eyes sparked wildly. "Really, I believe in you," he said handing me the ball. I smiled at him then turned to lob it towards Isabelle and Simon. It hit the edge and bounced in the air only to fall on the side of the cup.

"Oh," we all yelled. When it was, Isabelle's turn she perfectly lobbed the ball and it landed in the cup. Considering how drunk she was. "Ah" everyone erupted with loud cheers. Izzy and Simon had a victory kiss, whilst Jace and I both went for the cup on the table. Sometime in the middle of the game I had resolved to actually joining in and had been drinking since.

Our hands both went for the cup causing an electric current to run up my arm. It hadn't been the first time either tonight. We both let go at the same time. "You have it" he said. "No, you," I said looking up at him. We were inching closer to each other at this moment. I moved my hand knocking the contents onto him. "Oi," he yelped stepping back.

"Sorry I'll get a cloth," I said dropping my eyes and turning before he said anything. I looked back to make sure no one had seen us. I went to fetch a cloth and when I got back Jace had people already handing him wipes. I found this as a leeway to escape back to the kitchen, and grabbed my bottle of wine and began dousing it straight.

My emotions were running wild, I needed the release and often found it this way, sadly. I found myself wondering about in the kitchen. I just didn't know anymore. I had felt, the electricity, the pull—not even Seb… made me feel that way. I couldn't look into Jace's eyes and not give it away. It was simple I wanted him, and very badly I thought as I paced.

My body ached and twitched at the sight of him, I couldn't describe it. Nor did I want to call it lust, or label him as anything bad because he was far too kind to me and I wasn't. I looked up and I saw him across the room with people—girls trying to help him and I felt a sting, an ache that they could touch him freely but I couldn't.

I felt my eyes water as I raised my left hand, which immediately went to my neck to hold one of the silver bands that usually rests on my fourth finger. I hiccupped and looked again, but Jace was gone. All I had to do was stay away from him, that's all I had to do tonight. Stay away.

Somehow, I did manage to avoid Jace for part of the night. But I saw a glimpse of him throughout and it did things to me, I couldn't say outload or even think about. I was beginning to feel them and I knew were inappropriate, things that would hurt people around me if they did ever happen.

When he did finally catch up to me later in the night, I was dancing with a bunch of people I didn't know. I preferred it this way, the faces that recognised me I dodged them.

They all had the same questions and all liked to prude for what wasn't their business. "You're alone" "How is he, we miss you, when are you coming back" I rolled my eyes taking another sip. Yet no one asked what was going on inside my head, what I wanted, no one could see my struggles—I was unhappy.

"You look unhappy," I thought I imagined Jace whispering and taking the word out of my mouth. I closed my eyes sharply to refocus my senses.

"I am still waiting for the cloth" Jace whispered behind me in my ear. Making me jump when I thought I felt his hands graze my waist lightly. "We can't, you need to stay away from me" I yelled turning around. The others kept dancing and couldn't hear us over the music. "Whatever have I done now," Jace asked. But I quickly turned and left through the back door.

I regretted it the minute I stepped outside. It was freezing. "I would have told you to take a jacket but you never want to listen to me," Jace said casually behind me. I looked back momentarily then began walking towards the bushes. "I wouldn't recommend the woods either, there are wolves this time of the season" he continued.

"Perhaps you should leave me alone" I shrieked very un-lady like. "At least grab my jacket I would rather freeze than you," he said handing his jacket over. I took it without hesitation. I was thankful when I put it on and regretted it too. "See there you go, I can see colour returning to your cheeks already," he said lightly gracing my cheek with one of his fingers.

"Thank you" I muttered snuggling in his warmth and smell, which was divine and pretended he didn't just touch me. I sat in the opening of the backyard, where it was completely dark only the stars were visible. "What are you thinking about," Jace asked thumping beside me.

"How beautiful the sky is," I said, a small smile playing on my lips. "The scatter of stars, so close together, yet so far away from each other" I mumbled looking up.

"Ever tried to count them" Jace whispered quietly. "An Impossible and a ridiculous task" I turned smiling at him. "Like you," He said looking back at me, where his eyes were full and his lashes fell lightly around his orbs, mine must have just gawked at him. "Jace no, you can't just say things like that to me" I sat up frowning.

"Your very shrouded Clary, like you, always seem to be inside of your head, very unhappy and hesitant," he said his voice coming out harshly. "I mean we are not strangers, if you look at it we have a short history, getting high, drinking, making out—" he said softly. "Okay, I get it," I said looking away not needing a reminder of my past behaviour.

"What is it that bothers you then" he continued to ask. "Have you thought that maybe it's you, Jace" I yelped getting on my feet. "Come on now, with my good looks" Jace pointed out sarcastically, as I paced to go back to the house. I turned around to argue but I had no words. "So, you find me attractive then, is this what it's all about," he asked and I could hear a smile in his voice.

I wanted to turn around to argue but I had no words yet again. "Settled then" he yelled, laughing. "So, if you find me attractive, have I suddenly become terrifyingly very good looking for you that you have lost your voice too" he laughed coming towards me.

I began to walk away and to hide the shade of red appearing on my cheeks. "We are probably locked out by the way" Jace mumbled coming to his senses again and following close behind me. "What? just call Izzy or anyone to open the door" I said patting the pockets of his jacket. "I am sure I saw her go upstairs with that boy" he mumbled.

"So how do we get back in, because I also have a sudden urge to go home and sleep" I wanted to shout feeling irritated. "Home to sleep, but I thought we were making progress," he asked innocently. "Jace please can we not do this now I want to go home," I said tiredly. "Why because daddy condemns you staying out late" Jace mocked.

I stared forward as though I hadn't heard him. After we tried all the doors I gave up sitting on the steps in the front yard. "I forgot to mention Magnus's parties have a lock out time, his that popular" Jace mumbled casually sitting near me.

"However, my car is available" he suggested dangling his keys in front of me. "I don't think so and was that your plan the whole time because you knew we would get locked but continued to follow me outside anyways" I side eyed him.

"No definitely not, besides the point I told you they were, wolves and god know's what else hides in these bushes at night" he shrugged lamely. "That's beside the point" I argued. "So, my car it is then," he said jingling his keys, I looked seriously at him but I also knew I had no other choice. "Or would you rather freeze then," Jace asked standing up.

"Or we can just drive to Isabelle's, she did mention you were going to sleep there" he suggested. "No don't push it, you were drinking with me remember," I said sternly. "Or my house," Jace said quietly.

"No," I said plainly.

"You don't have to be afraid you know, whatever it is your hiding it shouldn't make you afraid to do what you feel," Jace said suddenly. "Who says I am afraid," I asked feeling annoyed. "I see the look on your face like you need permission like you haven't gotten to be yourself for a long time you can't even take jokes, it was the same in New York" he said.

"Because what Jace you're wise all of a sudden now" the words left my mouth instead of me interjecting what he was saying. Was it true did I need permission; did I really look like that.

"You judged me quickly" Jace stated quietly. "I have heard things about you" I whispered quietly, avoiding eye contact. Here in front of me was the boy who had overthrown his parent's wishes to be who he wanted to be, what would Valentine my father, ever make of that. "Good or bad I don't care, but I could say the same about you" he mumbled, I looked at him then.

'But you're brave' I wanted to say then. I found myself speculating if he knew anything about me really, I mean if he did he would not still be here, would he? Why was I here, I knew about me, but I was here in his company still? "Keys," I said getting up and ignoring him and the choices I was making.

I don't think I was ready to know what he knew about me either way, he would run and call me names if he ever found out. Jace smiled, that smile I had grown to love where it showed his imperfections, his chirped tooth. I must have been gawking because he just ignored me and began walking towards his car.

We reached a small old hatchback, that was practically falling apart. "This is your car," I asked feeling defeated because one thing for sure it didn't look warm. "Yes, this is my car," he said proudly opening his door and getting in. "Coming in or what" Jace yelled in the driver's seat.

"I had a fall out with my parents and this is the result of it, so no luxury," he continued opening my side of the door. "Sorry" he muttered chucking things in the backseat. "Comfy," he asked when he had turned on the heating and we had settled, and his windows began to fog up.

"Why did you have a fall out" I found myself asking to distract the both of us. "My father couldn't accept me for not being part of the family business, following in the politics, I just wanted to discover the world, what it was like doing things on my own without relying on them. Hasn't been easy obviously but I am getting there" he said.

"How about you, why did you move to Paris that's what everyone here seems to say" he mumbled toying with the heating. "Is that all?" I asked him, sneaking a look towards his direction. "Well yeah, but I would rather you told me your story" Jace mumbled seeming distracted by the heating buttons.

I looked outside where it was pitch black and I could only see my reflection "Well I graduated here in Idris, then moved to Paris to break away from my family as well, but over time I have begun to resent that choice altogether," I said looking back at him.

"You should join me in my travels then, it can be exhilarating, that's if you're looking for a change" Jace suggested, without asking further about my life. "Well, where are you off too next," I asked. "Peru, originally Alec and Magnus were supposed to accompany me but he is supposedly banned from the country, well he assumes he is" Jace smiled.

"Banned" I enquired lifting my eyebrows. Jace nodded. "He is one crafty guy" Jace laughed looking at me. "Well, I might take you up on that offer," I said. "Really, this is not drunk you speaking" he questioned. I shook my head, a small smile played on my lips. Then it was silent again, but I was comfortable in the silence, in fact, I was happy.

"Your eyes" I blurted out touching his face. "They're different," I said lamely dropping my hand on his collarbone. "You're different" I found myself saying. "You make me…" I whispered. Then the rain began to fall. "I make you what," Jace asked softly looking sternly at me. I looked away from him, feeling shy.

But his hand rested on the side of my face and slowly turned me to look at him again, his thumb delicately traced my lips. "I make you ... what" he whispered, his finger still on my lips.

They, fell open at his touch. And closing them I could feel the warmth of his hand, and when I leaned in I felt the slightest pressure on my lips. Jace was so delicate, I wasn't sure if this was real right now, or what it felt like last time. I opened my eyes and saw him looking right back at me. "I make you feel what" he repeated.

"I don't know, nervous—but I feel a certain type of hunger when I am with you, I cannot contain it and I know you have seen it too" I admitted looking into his eyes. "Tell me more" he whispered, his hand not leaving my face.

"I can show you better than I can tell you really, well I have been dreaming of showing you," I said my eyes dancing side to side, and swallowed hard surprised of the words leaving my mouth. "Show me then" Jace smiled sheepishly. I took his face in my hands and climbed over him. His hands moved to grab my waist.

Jace pulled me in closer leaving no space between us. I cradled his face as his hands worked to take my dress off.

I was wearing a maroon coloured slip bra, and his eyes went wild. Then he smiled bringing his lips onto mine. With every touch, I felt like I was being honoured and treasured, it felt right and like we belonged that I never wanted him to stop even in the small space of his car right now. Then it was just skin contact and he paused.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Yes, all of you, I want to be consumed by all of you," I said, giving him access to my all. He looked at me, then brushed a piece of my hair back. Then his lips were back on mine.

…

I woke up when I heard voices muttering outside, and I was only covered in Jace's shirt and I was cradled by him in the small space in his backseat. It was 7:30 am and I was meant to be on the breakfast table by 8 at home. "Shit" I yelled quickly putting my dress over my head.

"Hey sleepy head" Jace mumbled. "Good morning" his voice was raspy. "I thought we could grab breakfast together this morning" he continued to chatter in his sleep. "I have, need to go and no," I said throwing my dress on and stepping out of the car.

Jace followed shirtless having properly woken up. "Well hello there" Magnus crooned. I chucked Jace's his shirt back in the car and stalked off in the direction of the house. "What's her problem" I heard Magnus ask.

Who looked disturbing in a morning gown and just underpants.

I was walking so fast to avoid or hear their conversation. That in the house it took me seconds to gather my items. When I returned outside the two men were no longer in sight. "Clary" I heard Jace call me, but I started my engine drowning his voice entirely and drove off.

I stopped on the side not able to bear the emotions I felt, I was confused. When my phone began to ring uncontrollably. "Seb—hi my love" I answered.


	3. My third lie

**Disclaimer/: Cassie Claire owns! MI just my plot here**

I don't understand why I, need to be here" I mumbled angrily as Isabelle turned the engine off. She had refused to tell me where we were going or what we were going to do. "We are hanging Clarissa like old times but with new friends" she smiled sliding out of the car. My feet froze as I saw the people invited. It wasn't much but Alec, Magnus, Simon—and well Jace all huddled around a fire.

"And it's the beach, you always loved the beach" she yelled across on the other side of the car. "It's just Lake Lyn" I retorted rolling my eyes. I followed her on foot, my feet stomping on the ground. Of all days, today I wanted to caw around in bed and I definitely couldn't bear to be around Jace. I tried to avoid his eye contact as much as we reached the others.

…

But slowly the fire bundled down quickly with night quickly consuming us, and everyone there was a couple they had all mysteriously disappeared and I was just left with Jace. I couldn't be alone not after what happened the last time I saw him.

"So are we really going to sit here like nothing happened last night" he said finally, and these were his first words to me all night. "There's nothing to talk about" I said, "I was obviously intoxicated and so were you that other night" I murmured. "So, the rain intoxicated you last night too then" he blinked coyly.

I looked away from him then—

The day before …

My phone had been silent for days, well that's because I had muted it and chose not to reply. I was going through a phase, I didn't feel guilty or sad I just didn't know what to do now, I was confused by what I had done.

But today I had a different hunger I needed to run, and that was what I was going to do. "Finally getting out of the house" Mum crooned from the couch. "Yeah" I yelled coming down the stairs. "Don't be late tonight for dinner and photos with some of your father's friends" she said lifting her head from the couch.

"Yeah" I called back. "Clary it's important to him, so please" she said sitting up and lying down again.

"Yup" I said again banging the door behind me and I began on foot through the bushes behind our manor. Halfway in I stopped as the clouds were rolling in, I knew I should have turned back but I needed air and they were things I still needed to sort out.

I was breathing hard and truly exhausted when the rain started to fall. I stopped and twirled around, then I began running with no direction, I let myself go and found myself knocking on a door.

I knew Izzy wasn't home as she had come and said her goodbyes the other day. My hands cuddled my body trying to keep the warmth in as I stood there for what felt like an eternity. I quickly tapped the door again surely someone had to be home, he was here I knew that much.

The door finally swung open, Jace was dressed in a singlet letting his arms show and black track pants riding low on his waist. "Well look who it is" he muttered. "Jace" I squeaked trying to act shocked, but my insides melted at the sight of him. This was my test for myself I needed to know how I would feel if I saw him again. I didn't know what he was thinking after last time, I had ignored his calls and messages.

I could hear the television blaring behind; some game must have been on because he kept turning his head. Then when he looked past me he finally realised, "What are you doing in the rain" he asked unbothered. "Have you completely lost your mind" he said still blocking the doorway.

"I came to … um" I said looking past him and thinking why of all places had I ended up here. His eyes popped looking at me, "Are you going to let me in" I asked letting my hands hang beside me. He seemed annoyed as he moved from the door but made no effort to help me. Ignoring him I made my way to Isabelle's linen cardboard and helped myself to a few towels.

I chucked my clothes in a drier and padded myself towards her room, but her door was locked. "Shit" I muttered heading back to the main room. Jace was no were to be found, I kept my eyes glued to the lounge area to see if he was sitting in there watching TV when I head-butted one of the pantry doors in the kitchen.

"Ow" I mumbled, rubbing the spot where I had hurt myself. Jace happened to be right behind it because of a moment later he let the door close and stared at me. "Do you know where I can find Izzy's bedroom keys?" I asked I wasn't sure when she started locking her door either.

"Nope," Jace said. "Look, Clary, is it" he looked at me quizzically, I felt like I was slapped by his statement 'Clary is it' I wanted to roll my eyes. "What are you doing here, I am sure Isabelle has told you she is out of town" he continued. "Uh-ah I am drenched of course" I said looking down. "Right, what else do you want, because you have made it clear we can't be friends" he muttered pointing between us.

I twisted my feet together looking down, what did I want I thought because this was the moment for him right.

"To say sorry" I mumbled, looking up. I realised how much closer he was to me now. "I had stuff to work out" I blurted out. Jace sneakered standing in front of me and reaching behind me to grab sugar. "Right stuff" he said putting sugar in his cup. "I guess I am not going to find out what this stuff is" he mumbled.

I just looked at him. "Mmmh thought so" Jace hummed. Like he was waiting for me to continue "Then I realised it didn't matter" I said finally stumbling over my words. "That I was going to make my own rules and follow my desires," I said waving my hands around.

"And I realised you only live once right, YOLO they call it," I said. At that he smiled, "That is not an excuse to be an ass in life though" Jace took a sip of his tea, then looked at me sceptically. "I would have made you one but I was still mad at you" he muttered. "Well, you look cute mad" I mumbled and my eyes widening with the realisation of what I had said.

"Mmmh what else makes me look cute" he asked a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes. "It's really cold in here" I said, turning around to check the temperature and escape where this conversation was heading. "Being cold makes me cute" he questioned. "18 degrees" I grimaced, lifting my hand to turn it up. Jace raced up to me, to hold my hand back.

"No, I like it cool in here" he muffled. "But –" I argued. "No" he said wedging in between the wall and myself. My face head-butted his chest, and other parts of my body were physically flash against him. I could feel his breath on top of my forehead, and my hand still closed in his.

I looked up and saw him looking down, his tawny light golden honey eyes had the black in them blown to the fullest. I swallowed harshly, looking at the curve of his nose then my eyes landed on the curve of his lips. They twitched slightly, as I felt the slightest pressure on my hand.

Slowly his hands traced my own, writing an unspoken language of need and want between us. I didn't stop him as they traced themselves until he lay them still on my shoulders. I looked up at him and parted my lips. His hands felt so warm on my bare shoulders.

I swallowed hard as his head slowly bent to meet mine. My eyes danced around as his lips curved themselves to mine first, "I … what are you doing" I mumbled with them still closed, I knew I was supposed to stop him but I felt—I didn't have enough energy or the will to do so.

"Wondering how the cold makes me cute" he whispered, placing both his hands on the small of my back squeezing me into him. I gasped and parted my lips further letting his tongue invade mine. "It doesn't" I breathed when he let go for a breath of air.

"Really," he said, his hands burning into my skin over the towel, he graced my behind with his hands and finally laid them still behind my thighs. I responded by putting my own hands behind his head and lifting myself onto him. Jace seemed to lose all trace of balance as he wobbled slightly walking us onto the kitchen bench.

His mouth tasted like his tea, honey and lemon. I could still taste it on me as he began a trail of kisses down my neck and he stopped at the edge of the towel. His hands slowed, and he looked at me before prying the towel off. I nodded and it came away easily.

His fingers traced my body carefully as if they were registering the shape of me all over again. They landed at my waist where he held me tightly and carried me again. I felt a door behind me, then I was being deposited onto a bed. The whole time he didn't leave, but he hovered over me as he removed his shirt.

Then his pants came off too and I truly appreciated what I saw. It wasn't like in the front seat of his car, I could see his toned body, the curve of his hips and muscles. He was … I paused to think … what I would call exquisite, and intricately made.

And when he laid down on me again, I lost track of the world, of time and of the moment for a second time that week in Jace Herondale's arms.

….

I last remember muttering and yelling his name, before exhaustion overtook me. I was still naked in bed when I woke. My clothes were neatly folded on a chair, as for Jace he was no were to be found. I dressed hastily knowing it was late and I was late for tonight.

I walked out feeling shameful, Jace was still nowhere to be found. When I focused again his head was bent on his phone, whilst he sat at the kitchen bench. "hey" I muttered shyly, and I could feel heat grace my cheeks. "hey" he said, dropping his phone.

"You found your clothes" he smiled. "Yeah" I said, looking down at myself. "Water" Jace offered coming around the kitchen bench. I nodded, still feeling shy. I walked up to him to take it when I noted the time. "Ooo shoot" I muttered. "um do you mind dropping me home, I am late," I said turning to look at him.

"Me too," he said, "I was waiting for you to wake up". "Great let's go" I smiled.

The car ride had been easy and quiet. We both seemed to not bring up what had happened then or the other night. I had been relieved when he agreed to drop me a few streets from home.

He hadn't argued. I had needed the time to clear my head before meeting anyone at home.

…

I wasn't sure what came to me as I sneaked into the house. I fell through my open window with a loud thump. A moment later my door opened revealing my mother. "Clarissa", she scolded "what are you doing with yourself" "We have doors you know that I could have hurt you," she said indicating to a broom she was holding.

"I – I" I muttered getting up. "Why are you so late, photos are in 30 minutes and dinner in after that," she said going into my wardrobe and pulling out outfits for me. "Give me 20," I asked turning around and grabbing a towel. "Fine" she hesitated, then dropped what she had picked out.

I had my top off before she left. "Why do you have bruises and scratches on your back," she asked sceptically. I blushed furiously "Aw them, therefrom um" I couldn't find the right words. "I fell trying to climb a tree," I said not looking at her, she would be able to tell from my truths and lies.

I felt her glare behind me. "They don't hurt don't worry, it was stupid thinking I could climb that ole tree in the forest again," I said sneaking a look and stepping into the bathroom.

"Mmmh-Mmmh if you say so" she muttered. I breathed hard when I got in the bathroom. Then turned to examine my so-called injuries from climbing a tree.

They were slight bruises from being held so tight by Jace, that I remember but It had felt so good I hadn't told him otherwise.

….

present

I blinked, finally focusing on reality. Jace clicked his tongue as he stood up. "Where are you going" I stood up too. "I am going to take a walk, to go away from you" he said. "It's getting dark you're not just going to leave me out here" I yelled at him. Jace ignored me and continued to walk away

Slowly his shadow began to disappear. I heard a rustle in the bushes behind, and I quickly took off after him. "Couldn't stay away could you?" he said. I rolled my eyes. "Well," I mumbled. "Well what," he asked stepping closer to me.

"Clary" Isabelle yelled, coming towards us in tow with Simon. "It's 6 o'clock we need to go". "Nothing" I turned to look at Jace. "Look you need to sort your shit out" Jace exclaimed before turning to walk away again.

The whole drive back home with Izzy I was quiet, she herself hadn't pried and I hadn't pried about Simon and her either.

Later that night

….

"Clarissa please pass the salt" father asked. After I had handed him the salt, he looked at me in shock and confusion. "You're not wearing your ring, where is it" he exclaimed grabbing my left hand. I bit hard on my folk and looked down to see my piece of food was not there. "Ow" I wanted to mutter.

"Sorry" I blinked at him, taking mine had back. "I said where is your ring, your wedding bands my dear, never come off" he continued on. Making me the attention of the table now.

"It is blasphemy to ever take it off" he continued raising his voice. The fact is I hadn't been wearing my ring the whole trip here in Idris. "Valentine please" mother interrupted across the table. I was too in shock to answer because two seats away from me Jace had seemingly arrived and now looked purple.

"Is your boy okay over there Stephen" father asked pointing across to Jace. Jace's mother looked to her right to see him panting. "Dear God" mother stood up, "His chocking" she yelled. Jace put up his hand as he regained himself and had half the room hitting his back.

"My apologies" he coughed, "I—eh drink, I swallowed terribly," he said patting his mother's hand away. On my other side father was chewing very stoically glaring at the boy. "My dear, now why is something with the matter," he said turning to me, but I had become numb I couldn't explain he would know I was lying. "I—ah" I mumbled swallowing hard.

"Clarissa was being a dear darling she took it off the other day when we were gardening outside" she smiled putting her hand on my thigh as she sat down. "Yes, I didn't want it to get dirty" I smiled. But I could see his prying eyes, father hated lies and always knew when one was being told.

"I then sent it off to get cleaned, something that precious needs to be well looked after" Mother elaborated for me. I nodded along. Father seemed to swallow the lie as he turned away from us.

"My Clarissa here is married, to a noble gentleman, he looks after her well," he said stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. "Unfortunately work continues to hold him away, as the governor general in Paris he must be in attendances always that is why he sent his Clarissa here" father explained to his guest gloating.

"May I be excused" Jace announced loudly, getting up. I couldn't look up, I knew his eyes would be on me, I could feel his glare drilling holes into me. I didn't dare get up either to follow, the whole world would know for sure then.

After dinner, Jace was nowhere to be found neither did he leave missed calls or messages. "Where is your ring" mother sneaked into my room behind me, as I struggled to remove my dress. "I have noticed since you got here you have not been wearing it, is everything okay," she asked coming behind me.

"Everything's fine," I said turning to her. "It's always fine" I muttered. "You can tell me Clary is he not treating you well you have scratches on your back, and those are certainly not from a tree" "We are fine, I left it at the jewellery maker to clean it, and yes these are tree scratches" I mumbled in finality. Looking out the window at both our reflections.

What had I become I thought. "Shouldn't you be saying goodbye to your guest?" I asked looking out the window and looking for one person only. I saw his mother and father getting into a car but he was nowhere in sight. "Yes" she said leaving.

I breathed out, releasing a shaky breath I had been holding apparently. The door opened again but I didn't turn around. "Mum can we not do this now" I muttered irritated that she was bothering me again. "Do you need help with that" Jace asked making me turn around quick.

"Or are you going to lie you don't need help" he snickered. I opened and closed my mouth not sure how to confront him. "Jace—" I said. "I am sorry—I didn't mean" I said looking away with my tears threatening to spill.

"You know when I saw you today walking down the beach, I actually thought to myself maybe she is the one my mother is always talking about, a force of nature that will come into my life and change everything I know about life blah blah—" he broke off.

"Two times Clarissa" he held up his fingers, his tone sad now. "And here I was thinking I was making a friend out of you" he shook his head. "Jace I— told you I didn't care anymore and I meant it, I—" my voice shook when my phone began to ring.

We both looked at it at the same time as Sebastian's name reflected on the screen. It stopped and began to ring again. "Are you going to answer that?" he asked irritated. I looked at him and the phone. Then the tears began to roll on my eyes, as I rushed to answer.

As I picked the phone Jace rolled his eyes and left quietly as he had gotten into my room.

 **Hope you enjoyed! Please review means ALOT!**

 **thanks.**


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